The Terrific Twos

Going into age two with my child, all I ever heard from everyone was about the “terrible twos”. Like what does that even mean? To me, I am setting my toddler and myself up for bad energy by believing and giving into that phrase. So personally, I completely ignore the idea of the terrible twos as a whole. That is why I refer to this phase as the NOT so terrible twos or even better, the terrific twos!

When my son Luka turned two he still felt like a little baby. But since turning two, he has rapidly learned more communication skills and became an extremely picky eater. He also grew a very strong opinion about what he wanted to do and when he wanted to do it. Also, he is an ever evolving human being. He is allowed to change, shift his opinion, grow/learn, and change his mind. Does it make it easy as a parent to navigate the emotional moments, tantrums, or mood swings? NO! Does it mean every day is perfect with my toddler? Absolutely not. Every day I do my best every day to handle it with grace and a whole lot of love.

The magic of being a Two Year Old Human

Since I refuse to acknowledge the concept of terrible two’s, I turn towards gratitude with all the special things and magical memories that happen during year two. My son laughs hard and he can express his emotions more. He can have a conversation, he can play on his own sometimes, and he is capable of amazing things. He is simply a human being trying to navigate and take in the world around him. I welcome the hard moments and know that I will get through them and so will he. Because that is truly what real life is. As an adult, I go through a wide range of emotions, feelings, and preferences. It is part of the human experience. My two year old is allowed to feel his big feelings too.

So, soak up the silly questions and remember the moments when you were trying to figure out what they were trying to say. Enjoy the hugs and the snuggles and the “Ah ha!” moments where they learn something right in front you. It is an experience that is irreplaceable and it changes every day. The terrific twos really are magical and magnificent.

Ideas on what to do with the big two energy

That said, I have some ideas to help with the incredible and wonderful energy that having a two year old brings. For more idea’s and inspiration check out our 11 toddler and baby self care activities blog post as well.

  1. Dance Party: When I was student teaching my master teacher would do a daily dance party with the kids to get their wiggles out. It was so fun! I was amazed at how it helped the students release energy and bring joy to their faces. I did it in my classroom when I taught too and we had a lot of fun with it. Now with my son Luka, we do it as well. He loves all types of music, but we love to turn our record player on and dance with him if he is feeling it. We dance next to him or hold his hands and dance together. He enjoys it and it brings him happiness and also a great way to release some toddler energy. Sometimes he is not in the mood and that is okay, so we try again later.
  2. Meditation: I mentioned meditation in our 11 self care practices blog post and how it does not have to be perfect or some elaborate guided experience. Meditation can simply be closing your eyes and breathing for 10 seconds. Meditation can be walking outside and looking up at the sky or reading a book or drawing. We recently started doing a family meditation. I turn on a 2 minute meditation song and my husband, son, and I hold hands and simply breathe together at the end of the night. We sometimes close our eyes for a short time. We model this for our son and he started joining in. It just calms things down at the end of the day and truly helps to bring connection between the three of us. I was inspired to do this when I listened to a recent episode of The Soul on Fire Podcast by The Balanced Blonde. My absolute favorite podcast! She talked about how she did this with her son and husband. And let me tell you after trying this one time it was transformational! Not only does it bring the calm vibes in, but it just brings a sweet connection with our family. It helps calm Luka (which can be difficult to do), especially right before bedtime when the agenda for him is usually more fun play time. It’s now a very special and permanent part of our nightly routine.
  3. Helping with Household Duties: Luka loves to bake and help us prep for cooking. We have him move food from one bowl to another, or have him help us stir a batch of banana bread. He loves to help and he is capable of safely helping. Luka also love to help clean up spills or messes. He enjoys using our mini vacuum to help us too and of course help with laundry. He really is helpful little guy. It just was as matter of engaging him and asking him to help and then modeling how to do it.
  4. Prompt them to choose: Ask your child what they want to do and engage them in conversations. Luka has been loving creating with play dough lately and doing art projects with his dot markers. He also changes his mind on what he likes on the daily, so I allow him to pick what he wants to do next most of the time and within reason of course. Talking to your toddler is so fun. Enjoy the conversations. Luka picks up on everything lately and he is so emotionally supportive. He will ask if you are okay or give you a hug when you need one. He is a literal angel. All kids are.
  5. Choose Love: When the emotions are big it is easy to want to loose my cool as a parent. But when I choose love and lean into what my son is feeling, we get through the hard moments and tantrums a little bit smoother. I always get down to his level and prepare for a hug and ask him if he is okay. I do not tell him to stop crying and I do not tell him that he is okay. I want him to tell me how he is feeling and I want him to let me know when he is okay or what he needs. I provide a safe space for him to feel his emotions and work through them, knowing he will be greeted with love and compassion. This is helpful for our family in the emotional moments.

With a child not (or with life in general) everything is going to be perfect. They may not finish the snack that you spent a few hours making, or they may not want to do the art project you prepped, and for me that is okay. Leaning into what brings my son joy and happiness and a sense of calmness is what we allow him to engage in. But it is safe to say that if I stay in a state of mind of “cannot” or “should not” or terrible two’s, then I am not allowing my son to reach his full potential in who he truly is. It is incredible how smart two years old, we just have to give them the chance to learn who they are and learn the world around them. So cheers to the terrific twos. Enjoy every second of it.